Still Worthy

Luckily I haven't had to in a while, but longtime readers will remember that sometimes I write about depression in this space. With that in mind, I enjoyed a particular moment in Avengers: Endgame, which Doug & I went to see last night. Technically I suppose a Spoiler Alert is in order here, but I don't think I am giving away much of the plot or its resolution with this. But, I'll put in a page break, just in case.

HELLO BLOGGER THERE IS SUPPOSED TO BE A PAGE BREAK HERE











When we find Thor, he is, while nominally the King of New Asgard, spending his days drinking & playing video games, clearly crippled by depression over his failures to the world and his people. "Because that's what heroes do" because a jokey catchphrase in Thor: Ragnorak, but it also gave us a window into how Thor thought of himself. When a hero tried with all his considerable might and fails, is he still a hero? Thor clearly thinks the answer is no.

I appreciated the movie's depiction of depression: not the stereotypical sitting-motionless-gazing-glumly-at-nothing or too-drunk-to-move we usually see. The director trusts us to see through the smiles & jokey manner that Thor is debilitated. His onscreen depression looked a lot like my own, when I'm in it: I can put on a face for the world.

The moment I loved - and it was only a moment, again the directors trusted us with the takeaway & didn't have to hit us over the head with it (ooo ouch bad image when there's a hammer involved...) - the moment I loved was when Thor - fat, depressed, out of the game for years - reaches his hand for Mjolnir, and it comes!

Thor is still worthy. His depression has not made him unworthy. He is still himself, his worth doesn't come from his health, mental or physical. A thing I will remember, should I ever find myself in that place again.