Sunday, February 2, 2014

Square One

Regular readers may remember that back in June, my teenaged nephew came to live with us, from out of state. It was a desperation move, which seemed his only hope to overcome a heroin addiction. It's been difficult for everyone, most of all him, of course, but for my husband and me, too. We've all invested a lot into his sobriety. I blogged a lot less, for a long time; I also worked out less, gardened less, did less yoga, socializing, and even working. My energies were going elsewhere.

Then, slowly, things improved. He got a job, then a GED. He made some friends. He started talking about community college, in the fall. He was eight months clean.

I started to resume my old activities.

Last night, on a visit back home to his father, my nephew OD'd. He's okay - not damaged, anyway - and was released from the hospital this afternoon.

It seems we are back to Square One. I am heartbroken and discouraged and a little angry; but there's nothing to do but bring him back to Augusta where we can try again. He returns tomorrow.


I am in the studio tonight for solace and distraction. I may well wedge up these pots - if heartsickness makes for better artwork you couldn't prove it by me. But the activity itself, the hum of the wheel, the musty smell of the clay, the deep familiarity of the motions provides a comfort. Throwing occupies just enough of my mind to let me think without letting me think too much.


16 comments:

Charles Hughes said...

I'm so sorry. Two of my close friends have addicted family members. They're constantly facing the situation you described. Clean, healthy and on the right track, then wham. Back to the beginning. Our community just busted 2 dealers and we just lost a young woman to an OD. I wish yoiu and your family peace and the strength to persevere.

Lori Watts said...

Thanks, Charles. We're hanging in. It's all we can do.

Michèle Hastings said...

I feel for you, having been in a similar situation some years back, with a much younger brother-in-law. It's heartbreaking.

Debbie said...

My husband has been clean and sober, thanks to AA for 13 years. It changed our lives. And I do understand about the distraction of the wheel. We have a grandbaby with very serious disabilities, and when I simply cannot think any more about the future she will face, I go to the wheel and throw until I'm better. It keeps me sane. God Bless ya'll. Hang in there. Sometimes, it is the only option you have.

Christine Covert said...

Bless you for the depth of your compassion and generosity of your spirit. Keep making those pots, the experimental ones, you will be surprised what will come from within.

Liberty Stoneware said...

Having grown up with a drug addict in my family, I can confidently say you are doing what more addicts need- being supportive and providing an option away from their current environment. I hope things go better this go-around, but I will say that the hardest hurdle I found is accepting that the addict has to make the decision to change. It's not ignoring their life, but don't forget to live your own. Best wishes.

Gina said...

Dear Lori, I am so very sorry. I can only imagine how difficult life is for you and your family. You are the only hope he has and hopefully, one day, you can look back and know that you have saved a life. You are an angel.

smartcat said...

Relapses are so difficult to accept, particularly when things seem to be going well.
As others have said, don't forget yourselves. You can't help anyone if you don't care for yourselves.
You are in my thoughts.

Tracey Broome said...

I am so sorry for this addiction, hate this drug so much, I lost a dear cousin to heroin and just yesterday one of my all time favorite actors was found dead on his bathroom floor with a needle in his arm. Phillip Seymour Hoffman was a brilliant man and died too early. Heroin also killed the son of one of our best friends. The problem is, once an addict gets clean, if they go back to using, their body can't take the amounts they had worked up to with their addiction and it kills them. My thoughts are with you, it's a scary drug, I hope for the best for you and your family. Xo

Tracey Broome said...

I am so sorry for this addiction, hate this drug so much, I lost a dear cousin to heroin and just yesterday one of my all time favorite actors was found dead on his bathroom floor with a needle in his arm. Phillip Seymour Hoffman was a brilliant man and died too early. Heroin also killed the son of one of our best friends. The problem is, once an addict gets clean, if they go back to using, their body can't take the amounts they had worked up to with their addiction and it kills them. My thoughts are with you, it's a scary drug, I hope for the best for you and your family. Xo

Lori Buff said...

May you find the inner strength to help him and yourself through this. Heroin is a terrible drug, it hurts so many more people than just the user.

Artful Wonders said...

After 2 1/2 years of sobriety, community college with degree, my good friend's daughter just went back to methamphetamine. My friend is trying to get custody of her grand daughter who is only 6 years old. Good luck to you and your family. You are doing a very wonderful thing!

Sheri Bare said...

Lori, bless you for your compassion. May your nephew find comfort and strength under your care.

Marian Williams said...
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Marian Williams said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marian Williams said...

Dear Lori,
I'm with all the others and the ones that haven't commented, but I want to give you a virtual hug, and tell you that all the pots in the world will never mean as much as what you are doing for this young man. Keep your therapy potting going, as for all of us, it is our solace. It really makes me so angry what drugs are doing to so many GOOD people. If the brain can override good intentions to take drugs, what does that say about our brains. So confusing and disturbing! Love to you!

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